Hello guys, I decided to disable the comment section after Chapter 6, when I noticed that some reader comments were insulting to other commentators. I’m going to enable it but I should be grateful if everyone could be polite when addressing other readers because everyone is entitled to their opinion. Please keep it clean. Thank you all. Enjoy KYRON!
Comments, critiques and tips are welcome.
Kyle Parker vs. Aaron Hunter
Dedicated to TimothyM
Healing!
***
Who ever said therapy was easy? Both Kyle and Aaron found out the hard way that it wasn’t. They had checked into the lovely Four Seasons Hotel three days earlier and already, both were wishing they didn’t have to be alone with each other.
Dr. Murray had scheduled their sessions in such a way that each person would see him individually for the first three days, then both would see him together for the remaining two days. After that first week, they would meet the doctor together twice every week till both Kyle and Aaron were sure they were alright.
Things came to a head on the third and final day that they had to see Dr. Murray individually. Both men had been tiptoeing around each other since their sessions started. Whilst Aaron was virtually dying of guilt after coming to terms with just how wrong he’d been about Kyle and how badly he’d treated Kyle, Kyle was trying to accept the fact that he’d been violated. Kyle had buried everything so deep, he thought he was okay. But after talking to the doctor, he’d realized that not only did he feel violated, he was still hurt. Murray had made him understand that till he opened up and talked about it with Aaron, till he understood what had pushed Aaron to act like that…which actually went beyond the drugs, Kyle would never be completely over what had happened. Kyle really didn’t know how to go about talking to Aaron about something he’d rather forget. Aaron on the other hand didn’t think he could ever bring himself to talk about what he’d done to Kyle. Both men struggled with how they felt. Both were being eaten alive by their thoughts, be it guilt or anger. For the first time since they got together, Kyle and Aaron didn’t even have the urge for sex though they slept together in the same bed.
On that fateful Wednesday, Aaron’s session had been in the morning and Kyle’s, in the afternoon. Aaron was taking a shower after having a swim in the glorious pool downstairs, when he heard Kyle enter their suite. Immediately, his heart started pounding. Kyle treated him as lovingly as he always had but Aaron couldn’t help but notice that Kyle seemed to withdraw more into himself with each passing session. Aaron really didn’t know what to expect anytime he had to face Kyle. He could see the pain in Kyle’s eyes sometimes and it killed him inside, knowing he was the cause of that pain. He wished he could do something…anything to make it better. Aaron had never felt so helpless in his life. Kyle was his world and Aaron had a feeling his world was crumbling around him and he couldn’t do anything but watch as it did.
When Aaron walked into the elegant living room after pulling on jeans and t-shirt, Kyle wasn’t there, but Aaron couldn’t miss the unmistakable smell of smoke. His eyes widened in surprise. Was Kyle smoking, he asked himself worriedly. As far as Aaron was concerned, Kyle didn’t smoke. Aaron quickly made his way towards the balcony, where he could see an outline of Kyle through the curtains. Lo and behold, Aaron found Kyle smoking on the balcony.
“Kyle…?” Aaron started tentatively.
“Give me a moment please.” Kyle rasped, cutting off whatever Aaron had been about to say. His back was still to Aaron.
With a heavy heart, Aaron went back into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch knowing the shit was finally about to hit the fan. Kyle was going to leave him. Aaron wanted to kneel over and die. He couldn’t see himself living without Kyle. He loved and needed him more than the air he breathed. That day Aaron went to Kyle’s house to ask for forgiveness, he was ready to let Kyle go if that would make Kyle feel better. Now, he didn’t think he could let go…not without a fight. With that resolution, Aaron took a deep breath and stood up with the intention of going out onto the balcony, to talk to Kyle. He gasped when he saw that Kyle was standing just a few feet away from him, staring at him. He’d been so deep in thought he hadn’t heard Kyle come inside.
“Baby…” Aaron started but stopped when Kyle raised his hand, demanding silence.
“I never forced myself on you.” Kyle’s voice was quiet, hoarse, cold. “I’m trying to understand why you felt you had to do what you did to me. I never did anything you asked me not to. We had an agreement. I respected that agreement. I didn’t even kiss you though I was dying to do so, because you said you didn’t want that. So why did you feel you had to do what you did to me as payback? If I’d forced myself on you, hurt you amidst your protests, I would have understood your actions. I know I misled you eskişehir escort bayan by posing as a porn actor. I did wrong by deceiving you into giving up what you were not ready to. But I never hurt you physically. Besides, I apologized and we moved past it. Or, so I thought.” Kyle shrugged. “So why did you have to resort to that as payback? I know you were under the influence of drugs but…you must have still felt that I deserved to be punished in the worst possible way for something that you had already forgiven me for, to be able to do what you did. I need to understand, Aaron. Should I never take you for your word if you tell me things like, you’ve forgiven me? Because I’m human and I’m bound to make mistakes. Does this mean I shouldn’t believe you when you tell me you’ve forgiven me for whatever it is I might do? I need to be able to trust what you tell me if we’re going to be in a relationship. So please, help me understand.”
Aaron didn’t know what to say. He swallowed hard and quickly wiped at his cheeks which were wet with tears. That gesture drew Kyle’s attention to the fact that Aaron was in tears. He went from angry to furious in a heartbeat.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Kyle growled. “Don’t even…fuck!” He swore darkly and stormed out of their suite, leaving a devastated Aaron to slum back into the couch with his head in his palm.
“God, is this ever going to end?” Aaron moaned pitifully.
After sitting quietly for a while, Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and dialed. Ken picked up on the second ring.
“Talk to me.” Ken drawled jokingly.
“Ken…” Aaron paused to clear his hoarse throat. But before he could continue talking, Ken jumped right in, having detected the worry in Aaron’s voice.
“What is it Aaron?” Ken asked, hitting Steven’s hands away. He didn’t like how Aaron sounded. And when Aaron went quiet, Ken felt a sense of foreboding. “Aaron…”
“Does he smoke…sometimes?” Ken heard Aaron ask in a small voice.
“My brother is smoking?” Ken gasped.
“Yes.” Aaron replied simply.
“Shit.” Ken swore. “Where is he?”
“He…he stormed out of here in anger not too long ago.” Aaron said quietly. “Ken about the smo…”
“If he’s smoking, then he’s very upset, Aaron.” Ken cut him off. “What happened?”
“He came back from a session and wanted to know…” Aaron trailed off not knowing how to tell Ken.
“Know what, Aaron?” Ken prompted.
Aaron gave a deep sigh and plunged ahead… “He wanted to know why I did it.”
“You mean why you…”
“Yes.” Aaron whispered when Ken couldn’t bring himself to complete his question.
“Fuck.” Ken growled. “Let me try and get him on his phone. Sit tight yeah?”
“Okay.” Aaron said quietly. “And Ken?”
“Yes, Aaron?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Ken sighed. “Just…wait for him to come to you okay?” Ken said quietly, feeling sorry for Aaron.
“Alright. Thanks.”
***
Kyle felt his phone vibrate inside his pocket and pulled it out to see his brother’s name flashing across the screen. “What?” He barked into the phone.
“That’s not how to go about it and you know it.” Ken growled without preamble.
“So sue me.” Kyle growled right back.
“Kyle please…”
With the phone held tightly in his hand, Kyle squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Fuck! Listen Ken, I’m about to enter Murray’s office. I’ll talk to you after, okay?”
“Okay. But please calm down. For me.” Ken said softly.
Kyle gave a deep sigh. “I hear you, bro. Stephen there?”
“Yep.”
“Okay. Talk to you later.”
“Hey…”
“Uh-huh?”
“Don’t smoke again.”
Kyle gave a short soft laugh. “He told you.”
“He did. He’s worried. You’re scaring him, biggie.” Ken’s voice was soft, cajoling. He knew how to get through to his brother.
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“I know. Just don’t do it again.”
“Okay boss.” Both Kyle and Ken laughed softly and hung up.
When Ken pushed Dr. Murray’s door open, the older man was sitting in his couch with a smirk on his face. “I knew you would come back. Storming out of here like that…”
“I needed to think.” Kyle muttered, sitting down in the couch opposite the doctor. “I’m sorry I walked out. I just…” Kyle trailed off shaking his head.
“Kyle, all that I’m saying is that you have to face that thing head on. Burying it inside isn’t going to help. You’ve got to let it out, and then deal with it. That way, you kill it once and for all.”
“I understand.”
“Have you ever discussed what happened…really discussed it with Aaron?” Dr. Murray asked.
“No.” Kyle muttered. “Well, I tried doing that today when I left here earlier. I sort of asked him why he did it.”
“I see.” The doctor said with a raised brow. “And what did he say?”
“I didn’t wait for an answer.” Kyle mumbled, looking down unseeingly at his shoes.
“Wow!” The elderly man whispered. eskişehir escort “Now listen to me carefully, Kyle. If you don’t handle this right, you’re not going to like the person that Aaron is going to become.”
“How do you mean?” Kyle asked, looking up at the good doctor.
“If you don’t do it right, you’re going to leave him permanently on a guilt trip. If he feels guilty all the time for what he did, he’s going to try very hard to please you all the frigging time. He’ll totally lower himself, do everything for you…not out of love, but with the sole aim of placating you…paying his ‘debt’.” The doctor gave the word quotation marks with his fingers. “He’s not going to be himself around you, he won’t be free. Simply put, Aaron is going to become a robot. Is that what you want?” The elderly man tilted his head to the side and watched Kyle closely.
“No.” Kyle whispered. “I don’t want that. I don’t want him to please me all the time. I want him to do what will make him happy and not… I want him just as he is.” Kyle concluded heatedly.
“No you don’t. Not with the way you’re going about things. What comes after being a robot for a while is even worse, Kyle. He’ll grow to hate you. Because no human being wants to feel indebted to another, for life. Definitely not Aaron.”
“I don’t want that.”
“Then watch what you tell him and how you say it.”
“How should I talk about it then?” Kyle growled. He felt so helpless and frustrated.
“Sit him down. Get him to tell you how he was feeling. What drove him to that anger? What exactly was going through his mind when he found out that Ken had lied to him with your blessing? Try to get him to talk about it. Put yourself in his shoes. Try and feel exactly what he was feeling. Then and only then, can you understand him and really forgive him.”
“But I’m sure he’s told you. Can’t you just tell me what he said?”
“He needs to tell you himself. That’s all part of the healing process. If you love him and want to be with him, you have to try and understand him first, Kyle.” Dr. Murray said. “Then you have to tell him how you feel about him taking you against your will. Talk about it. Can you do that?”
Kyle nodded. “I can.”
“And try not to get angry whilst you’re at it. He will clam up if you do.” Murray said, preferring not to tell Kyle just how scared and uncertain Aaron was. “Get him to open up, Kyle. I don’t care how you do it…just get it done.”
“Ow come on doc.” Kyle groaned. “You’re the expert. You should…”
“You don’t pay me to spoon-feed you, Kyle.” Dr. Murray said evenly. “You pay me to help you see the right path. Now, how you walk that path, is your own show. You could skip along it, run, do cartwheels, hell you can even do what these gymnasts do on the ropes…”
“Alright, alright I get it.” Kyle growled, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“Thank God, you do. You love him. You know how best to get through to him. Use it.” The doctor chuckled. “You’ve always been a smart kid, Kyle. You’ll figure out the right way to go about it. I have confidence in you. Why do you think I waited for you to come back, though my wife kept calling me, threatening to kill me if I got us late for our Opera date tonight? Now get the hell out so I can go save my own marriage.” Dr. Murray growled, getting to his feet and reaching for his keys. “Thanks to you, I’m already late.”
Kyle chuckled and stood up too, suddenly feeling an insistent need to get back to Aaron to repair the damage he’d already done. “Thanks doc.” Kyle grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“All the best.”
***
When Kyle entered their suite, it was to find Aaron in darkness, sitting on the same spot he’d been sitting earlier when Kyle had gone inside to confront him. Kyle had been gone for the past three hours. Had Aaron been sitting there all that while? Kyle’s heart broke.
“Aaron?” Kyle rasped, switching on the light. “Baby…” Kyle gasped, watching Aaron blink rapidly as he tried to adjust to the glare of the light. Kyle went on one knee in front of Aaron and took both of Aaron’s hands in his. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Aaron answered quietly.
“Have you been sitting here since I left?”
Aaron slowly shook his head. “I went in there to pack and came back here to wait for you.”
“Aaron…”
“I know I hurt you Kyle. I told myself I wasn’t going to give up. I wasn’t going to let you go no matter what.” Aaron looked into Kyle’s eyes. “But I have to…”
“No, baby…”
“I don’t know what to say or do or how to get out of the mess I’ve created.” His self-deprecating laugh scratched across Kyle’s senses, igniting his heart. “I have to allow you to deal with this the best way that you can. Maybe that’s what you need. I want you to heal, Kyle. I have to be strong and let you go for the greater good.”
“I’m not going to allow you to walk out of my life, Aaron.” Kyle growled but Aaron only shook his head sadly.
“It’s not escort eskişehir up to you to decide, Kyle. It’s just not going to work. I don’t want to be a constant reminder of what happened. I want you to be happy. It kills me inside but I have to do the right thing. You wouldn’t have come to meet me here but I didn’t want to repeat what I did the other time. If you don’t mind, we can remain friends. I’ll like that.” Aaron gave a tremulous smile.
Kyle just stared at Aaron. Was he for real? Did he really think he was going to let him go? Kyle had to clench his jaws to physically stop himself from bursting into incredulous laughter. If Aaron Hunter thought Kyle was going to let him go, he had another thinking coming.
“No problem.” Kyle responded sweetly. He did remember distinctively, something Dr. Murray had said just before he’d sacked him from his office some minutes ago. The shrewd doctor had advised him to try and get through to Aaron the best way he knew how, right? Well, Kyle knew only one sure way. Show time! “But before you go, I’d like you to do something for me. Will you do it?”
“Kyle, I can’t say whether I can or cannot till I hear…”
“Do you trust me, Aaron?” Kyle asked softly.
“You know I do.”
“Than just promise to do this one thing for me before you walk out of my life. That’s all I’m asking.”
Aaron looked into Kyle’s eyes for a while, and then nodded his head. “I promise. Now tell me what you want me to do.”
Then Kyle said the last thing Aaron expected. “I want you to make love to me.”
“What?” Aaron looked shocked.
“I want you inside me, not just fucking me, but making love to me. I want to…erase that image. I want you to make it better. Help me forget the violence. Fix me, Aaron.” Kyle whispered.
But Aaron was shaking his head. “I can’t, Kyle.”
“You promised.” Kyle reminded him pitilessly. Sex. That was how they communicated best, and by God, that was what Kyle planned on using to break the ice with Aaron.
“Please don’t make me do this.” Aaron said quietly. “Please, Kyle.”
“I’ve thought about this, Aaron. I thought about it all the way from Murray’s office to here. And I strongly believe that the best way to heal, is to create new memories. Good memories. Help me create them. You owe me that much.” Kyle stood up and turned towards their bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Kyle’s strategy was to bring down Aaron’s defences the best way he knew how, and then have a heart to heart with Aaron. And the only way Kyle knew, without a doubt, that he could connect with Aaron was when Aaron was in his arms, drunk on bliss… Kyle planned on fucking Aaron’s brains out.
Immediately the door closed behind Kyle, Aaron’s first instinct was to run. But he couldn’t move. Much as the thought of going anywhere near Kyle’s arse was scary, he knew he had to give Kyle what he wanted. He had said that was the way he could heal, right? Anything Kyle wanted him to do, he didn’t really have any choice but to do it. Not because he wanted to do it, Aaron thought dejectedly, but rather because he felt he really didn’t have any right to say no. Aaron sat in the couch till he heard the bedroom door open.
“Coming?” Kyle called from the doorway.
Aaron stood up and walked slowly into the room as though he were walking into a slaughter house. He closed the door and watched as Kyle tore up one of his t-shirts and threw the strips onto the bed. Then Kyle dropped a bottle of lube on the bed and deftly removed the towel wrapped around his waist. Aaron couldn’t suppress his gasp when he saw Kyle’s fully aroused body. Oh, God…he was so stunningly beautiful. It had been an unspoken rule between them since they checked into the hotel…one never went fully naked when the other was around. It was just to help them keep their hands off each other. That rule was obviously off if Kyle’s current state of undress was anything to go by. And that body…the way his chest muscled, his sexy six-pack, his thighs…firm and muscled as they flanked his blatant arousal, his long muscular legs, lightly dusted with dark hair was…Damn! Kyle Parker was absolutely, completely and totally male, utterly beautiful and ruggedly compelling. Just looking at him made Aaron’s senses reel in awareness. It took Aaron a moment to realize Kyle was actually talking to him.
“What?” Aaron whispered, looking up into Kyle’s amused smoldering eyes with his own dazed ones.
“Can I move now or do you want to look some more?” Kyle drawled.
Aaron’s face heated up as his mortified gaze returned from Kyle’s mocking handsome face back to his erect throbbing cock as though he were being controlled by a mobile device. Aaron gave a helpless little moan when he saw Kyle’s hand drop down to fist his cock. His eyes remained riveted on the movement of those long thick fingers. And even as Aaron shifted restlessly from one leg to the other, Kyle pleasured himself, stroking that beautiful cock slowly, squeezing the wide head whilst reaching down with his other hand to fondle his heavy balls. The pleasure on Kyle’s face was erotically captivating. He watched Aaron the whole time from under heavy-lidded gaze as if he wanted to devour Aaron right there. The gleam in Kyle’s eyes told Aaron he knew exactly what he was doing to him and he was pleased with the effect he had on Aaron.