When I first started writing this particular memoir, I hesitated before starting, wondering if I should bother to put in a preface, thinking it was going to be a short article, eventually deciding against it, then about halfway through I had a revelation, an epiphany if you will, and realised it needed one, if only to set a context to the events that unfolded.
As I read through the pages of my diary. I saw something in my notes that I hadn’t realised before, how I met this lovely young girl, who opened herself, heart and soul to me, who trusted me with her innermost emotions, and how I felt when I realised that I’d let her down.
Now some of you, mostly men, will skim through it, and probably consider what I’ve written to be sentimental nonsense, the slushy ramblings of a young romantic inexperienced girl, full of air-headed dreams, and will skim through it looking for the juicy bits, the tongues, tits, tums, fingers and bums, for those that do, I understand your predilections I’ve tried to relay as many memories of that as I can, in the hope that what you read will go some way to satisfying your preferences.
Some readers, a few, a very few perhaps, who I believe will be mostly women and girls, will read it all, and I hope understand the underlying theme of my writing, and though difficult what it is that I’m trying to convey, that through my selfish neglect, I almost lost the girl who had fallen in love with me, and in so doing, I nearly tore my heart apart, there’s almost nothing I can say to salve my own conscience, or for the considerable hurt and pain I caused her.
For those of you who do read it all, and understand my feelings of despair when I discovered what I’d done, and who like me, have been through the experience of the savage pain of loss, we know that to overcome it, we must endure it alone, if a few of you have ever shared my distress and know the feeling I’m describing, then thank you, I’m grateful for your understanding and I love you all for that.
However, I’m determined to finish writing this memoir, as it’s an important reflection of my life so far, it is emotionally draining, and I have to keep stopping to compose myself, so I’ll make sure I complete it no matter how difficult it is, though in honesty, when I write the closing sentence I’ll have to face the serious fact that I will probably never write again.
I woke late on Saturday morning, having got home late from a night out, that had started at a friend’s birthday celebration at a Brasserie and ended up with me going to the home of a good looking, pleasant mature man, and having a passionate sexual encounter with him on the rug (which I ruined) in front of his crackling log fire.
I took a refreshing shower, and went through my usual morning routine, cleaning my teeth, applying moisturising body lotion, brushing my hair, and pinning it back, making sure it was shining and without tangles, manning sure I took my contraceptive pill, always important particularly after the exertions of the previous night, I dressed simply in a plain cotton underwear set, panties, bra, with a tee shirt and light canvas slacks.
Taking the laundry basket downstairs, I smelled the panties I’d worn the night before, the scent of sex was very heavy on them, rich and powerful particularly around the gusset, so I put them to soak in a mixture of fabric conditioner, salt and warm water, then I sorted the clothes into the various categories and put my whites into my washing machine, starting the first cycle, set on heavy duty, bubble wash.
I started to make myself lunch, taking some prawns and olive oil out of the fridge, and cutting a lemon, squeezing the juice from the slices over the molluscs and adding seafood sauce to the dish.
Hearing my smartphone ring from the kitchen counter where I had left it the night before, I picked it up, I was expecting a call from my mother to check I was all right as she usually did if she was away, and I didn’t go round for the weekend.
I answered it, without looking at the caller info, “Hello?”
“Hello Michelle, it’s Olivia.”
“Hello Olivia, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.”
I had sent her a text early in the morning on my return home, saying ‘back home, safe and sound, a great and pleasurable end to the evening, you were right, thanks for your astute advice.”
“I did say I’d phone you to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m fine thank you, a bit tired, but feeling relaxed fulfilled and well.”
“So, how was he, any good?”
He wasn’t bad, a bit slow on the uptake, I had to work hard to help him take the step, but once I got him inside me, he was quite good, you were right about him though, he was experienced enough to know what goes where, but he hadn’t had that much experience with women, I ended up having to teach him quite a bit.”
I paused for a moment, she had recommended, and vouched for him, assuring me that he was safe to be with.
“Well, I followed your suggestion and screwed his brains out, leaving him, wet, drained and exhausted, and a aksaray escort little bit sore.”
“Sounds good, do you think it’s worth me giving him a try?”
“You might find he’s quite good, and if you want to have him, you probably wouldn’t be disappointed, provided you are careful and take birth control precautions, he’s pretty virile and very potent.”
“That’s not an issue, probably like you, I’m on the pill, I’m not ready for babies yet, is there anything else I need to be careful about?”
“Well, again, you were right, what we saw of him is a façade, he tries to appear as an experienced man of the world, but underneath he’s very lonely and looking for a full time relationship, he’s a bit clingy and wants a girlfriend not a quick fling, unfortunately for him I was a bit merciless in my sexual attention to him, and I almost reduced him to a hollow shadow of himself.”
“Maybe I’ll give it a miss, after all if he’s like that, he knows where I work in the evenings at weekends, it might be difficult to shake him off afterwards.”
“Probably a wise decision, I made sure he couldn’t trace me back to my home, as I said, he’s a bit clingy.”
“What about us, can we meet up for a drink one evening, perhaps on Friday?”
“Yes, I’d love to, it would be nice to see you again, have you anything in mind?”
“You could come to my place, and go to the Horn and Trumpet, it’s a pub in the village that’s in easy walking distance, if you stay overnight, you could enjoy a drink there with me, and you wouldn’t have to worry about driving.”
I’d heard of the place, it was popular with lesbian and bi girls, I had never been anywhere like that before, and I was curious to see what sort of place it was.
“So long as it isn’t near the Brasserie, I don’t want to run into Gerald, he’s a nice man, but he’s not for me in the long term.”
“Don’t worry, I live quite a distance from there, so it’ll be fine.”
“Alright, I’ll pack an overnight bag, and see you at your place on Friday, what time?”
“Around 7:00 pm, don’t bother packing a nightdress, you’ll be in my room with me, and you won’t be needing it,”
“Oh, really, you’re sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Michelle, you know as well as I do, that from the moment we first set eyes on each other, we were certain to end up in bed together.”
“Mmmmm, alright, I’ll look forward to that then.”
“You won’t be disappointed; I assure you of that.”
“I’ll hold you to that, see you on Friday evening.”
“Looking forward to seeing you, I’ll call on Thursday evening and firm up with you.”
She gave me her address, so I could find my way to her house, and I entered it into my calendar, I would need to finish early on Friday, so I decided to work on my day off, on Wednesday, hoping I could get ahead with my work and finish around midday.
I thought back to the previous evening when I had met her, she was a very attractive girl, blonde, around 25, with nice legs, and a good shapely figure, 5’5″ tall, and her bust was larger than mine, probably around 34B, I had noticed her breasts were firm, and she carried herself well, I had taken a little more time to look at her, she was a lovely looking girl, quite beautiful with curly blonde hair, cut in a loose urchin style, large blue eyes, full lips, and a button nose.
Remembering that she had smiled warmly at me, her blue eyes sparkling in the low light of the salon, she was wearing the standard servers outfit, black skirt, white blouse, and a black waistcoat where she had her pockets filled with pens, and order pads, she had turned towards me, and leaned forwards, pressing her upper thighs against the table’s edge, it pulled the front of her skirt tight, highlighting the prominence of her pubis as it strained against the tight black material.
She had whispered softly, “do you see anything else you’d like?”
It had sent a thrill through me, an almost instant desire to be with her and enjoy the closeness of her firm body against mine.
The weekend passed, I went to my parents on Sunday for dinner and the usual family gathering, it seemed such a short time and it was Monday morning and time to go to work, on my way I dropped into the boutique I use and spoke to the owner, Ollie, he was a stylist for a fashion house, before he started his own business,
He had been in one of the lead positions of the top clothes promoter, and I had known him since my mother took me there years before, I had been buying clothes and then taking them to him for alterations, he’d often shaken his head at my selections, and had eventually taken over dressing me, demonstrating clearly that he knew how to dress me well, so I just showed him photos of what I liked and he would get them in my size, or if he couldn’t they would make them for me, fitting them expertly, his partner Paul was a master tailor and dressmaker, he’d worked at a high end Paris fashion house, and was an expert at dressmaking and tailoring alterations.
Ollie was very discreet and would often amasya escort get luxury lingerie for premier customers, in sizes that were not easily obtainable by general customers at other fashion retail outlets, I had gone to him on many occasions, particularly if I wanted something sensational to help me seduce someone, and he never disappointed me with his selections.
This time I told him I wanted something really special to wear for her, I told him honestly what it was for, I don’t know why I wanted to get underwear that special for my date with Olivia, I just knew that I did, Ollie thought for a few seconds, then told me that he thought he could find something suitable, and said he would text me to come in and collect it when he’d got hold of it.
Monday was the usual busy day, the morning meeting, where we reviewed our case load, discussed any issues, and allocated new work to each of us, depending on what category they fell under, I had a particularly nasty criminal case, commissioned to me by the barristers chambers, for which I had to prepare a defence pack, which kept me busy and made the time fly.
Ollie sent me a text on Wednesday morning, letting me know that he’d got the clothing I was looking for, so I called into the boutique on my way home that evening, Ollie took me into the private premium room to look at what he’d found for me.
“Now Michelle, these are nylon, but they’re very expensive, as you can see they are classed as white, but are in fact almost transparent, totally sheer apart from the woven maple leaf design at the front, enough to hide what you’d like to be seen, they also have a subtle secret.”
“God Ollie, they are beautiful, light and smooth to the touch, almost like gossamer, absolutely lovely.”
“They will certainly achieve the results you want to, it’s an instant turn on, just touching them.”
“What’s the secret?”
“Look here, at the gusset.”
He turned them over, the gusset was covered in fine frilly lace, he put his fingers inside where the soft lining was, and pulled the edges apart, it was split down the centre and opened out allowing full access to the secret place of any girl wearing them.
“That’s incredible, but what if somebody sees it?”
“Well Michelle, that’s what you wear them for, that’s the excitement of them, being aware that some people might catch a glimpse up your skirt, but these open crotch panties are made very well, the split crosses over so unless you put your knees wide, no one would see very much, they’d just look like ordinary panties.”
“It will certainly be a surprise for Olivia, my date on Friday.”
‘Now it comes with a half-slip, which has a scalloped hem, matching suspenders and bra, don’t wear stockings and suspenders, it’ll be too much and spoil the effect, wear a heavy dress, and it would be better if you don’t wear the bra, you would be best to wear one of the blouses that Paul tailored for you to fit snugly around your breasts, it’ll give you enough support without distracting attention too much, really you have such lovely small firm breasts that most of the time you don’t need to wear a bra anyway.”
“If you think that will present the image to Olivia that I want to achieve then I’ll take your advice, thanks Ollie.”
I have to say that his advice to me about clothing, choosing the correct ensemble, and creating my own style has been absolutely superb, so no had no doubts about his suggestions.
“I’ve chosen a pair of silk Ballerina hold ups for you to wear with the panties, they are white, quite sheer, 20 denier, swirl and hatch pattern at 60 denier, and embroidered with small dots, they have lurex threads woven through them and up the seams, so they’ll shimmer in the light, and they are very heavy with lace at the welts, make sure you roll them on and take them as high up your thighs as you can, they’ll be stunning.”
He packed the lingerie in tissue paper, putting a small, scented soap into the bag, and handed it to me, I paid the bill, thinking that my father would be irritated at the cost when he checked my personal account.
I went home, and placed the bag in my dressing room, then spent the evening quietly watching the TV, before washing, cleaning my teeth, and going quietly to bed.
Work was hectic on Thursday, but I had a call from Olivia mid afternoon.
“Hello Michelle, are we still on for tomorrow evening?”
“Of course, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Could you come over a bit earlier, say, around 6:30 pm?”
“That’s not a problem, I’ll see you then.”
“You will indeed, bye.”
“Bye.”
The rest of the day flew past, and before I knew it, Friday morning had dawned, I arrived at work early, intending to finish around midday, but as usual when I needed to get away, all sorts of last minute problems cropped up, and I ended up not leaving until nearly 1:30 pm, but I arrived home just before 2:00 pm, leaving me with just enough time to get ready.
Quickly I made myself a sandwich and a mug of coffee, after which antalya escort I went upstairs, took off my work clothes, had a quick shower, and dried myself, I applied body moisturiser, and sprayed Jasmine Perfume Body Spray, over my skin, rather than full perfume, I like the aroma of Jasmine, it suits my skin and blends well with my natural scent.
Standing naked in front of the mirror, I checked that everything looked good, I exercise regularly and eat well, so although I’m small at 5’2″, 95 lbs, with a 32A bust (on a good day, just about), I’m shapely with good legs, strong thighs, round bottom, with good calves, and I’m a natural blonde, I grow my hair to my mid back, and my pubic hair is straight and silky, sometimes I depilate using an electronic No!No! so that it isn’t coarse when it grows back, smoothing my hands over my tummy and turning to the sides, checking it was nice and flat, and looking over my shoulder to make sure my buttocks were firm, I was satisfied with my appearance, so I began to choose my clothes for the evening.
Taking the lingerie out of the bag, I slipped the panties on, pulling them into place gently so that the elastic of the legs tucked nicely into my groin, checking in the mirror again, I saw that Ollie was right, they were stunning, the seat was transparent right down to the rear seam of the lace gusset, at the front they were transparent slowly blending into the maple leaf woven in pattern, which covered my pubis and reduced the visibility of my pudendal cleft, revealing, but subtly discrete, they were very comfortable, the lining of the gusset by was soft, and I felt almost as though I didn’t have any panties on at all.
Squatting down in front of the mirror, I checked the split crotch, it didn’t gap, to open them I had to pull the sides apart, confirming that if somebody looked up my skirt, they might see some exciting lace, but I would maintain my dignity.
Taking the stockings out of their packet, I held them between my fingers, feeling the softness of them, and sitting down, I rolled them on, smoothing them up my legs, making sure they fitted to my skin without any bagging behind my knees, pulling the lace welts up as close to the legs of my panties as I could, leaving a small amount of skin exposed at the top of my thighs, small perhaps, but enough available if they were to be stroked, stepping into the slip, I pulled it up into place, it was scalloped at the hem, the maple leaf pattern fading into transparency as it flowed up the slip, matching the panties.
Fastening my cross and chain round my neck, I guided it to fall into my slight cleavage, then I picked a tailored blouse, white, lace trimmed and high collared with short puff sleeves, buttoning it up, I positioned my breasts into the shaped front, fitting each one in carefully so that they were cupped by the material, I had picked out a heavy, light brown, square bibbed pinafore dress, it was lined with gold polyester, which offset the scalloped edged of my half-slip, I pulled the straps over my shoulders and fixed them in place with the fasteners, then I buttoned them at the sides and pulled up the zipper.
Brushing my hair, I made sure that the fringe was neatly positioned over my forehead, I put on a white satin crystal embellished padded Alice band, tucking the ends behind my ears, finally putting in my gold ear studs, and strapping on my wristwatch, I was ready to go.
Having packed my overnight bag, though it was more of a weekend one, the previous evening, instinctively placing several skirts, shirts and blouses, cardigans my wash bag, and accessories, a pair of Levi’s blue jeans, plenty of stockings and underwear, a silk robe, and despite Olivia’s suggestion, a pair of pyjamas, I placed it at the top of the landing ready to take downstairs.
It had been enjoyable getting dressed up, for me it’s one of the best parts of going out, sometimes it’s just as much fun, particularly if I’m wearing sensual underwear, and I love the feel of soft lacy material against my skin, the way my stockings rub across my legs, and the feel of my panties sliding across my bottom as I walk.
Taking my overnight case downstairs and out to my car, I returned to my bathroom and took my pills to put in my handbag, so that if I stayed more than one night, I wouldn’t miss a day, taking my handbag down to the hall, I found it had turned cold outside so I put on a pair of dark tan knee length boots, zipping them up, I have good calves and they hugged them tightly, both warm and comfortable I could walk and drive in them without problems, to keep myself warm I put on a toffee coloured duffel coat and a dark brown cashmere scarf.
Quickly checking everything was locked and turned off, I set the intruder alarm, and picking up my handbag, went to my car, got in, by the time I started up and left for Olivia’s it was nearly 5:35 pm, I was feeling the hollow ache in my lower stomach at the thought of the time we would be going spending together.
Arriving at Olivia’s house around 6:20 pm, I drove through the gates and parked in her front parking area, getting out I took my overnight case and walked towards the front door. Olivia lived in a barn conversion, she had designed it, and carried out a lot of the work herself, it was a huge building, and like me, she lived there alone and didn’t allow men into her home.