Extract from ‘Don’t Write Off Religion Yet’, a newspaper feature by Raymond Archer.We secularists use caricature to dismiss modern religious faith. We’ve got our list of favourites. The frothing fundamentalists, pronouncing fatwas and shooting abortionists. The pious traditionalists, mouldering in a cloud of incense and liturgy. The grating charismatics, happy clapping their way through a world in pain. Deluded at best and psychotic at worst, the whole shower of them. It keeps things simple, writing them all off. It means we don’t have to engage with them or question our own world view. In some cases, our lack of one.So what if the ‘faith-head’ we meet bucks those stereotypes, proving to be the antithesis of them all? What if we let our guard down long enough to get to know the opposition and find one of them to be thoughtful, moderate, and articulate? What if that person is better than us in every way?I speak of course from personal experience, let me not pretend otherwise. The believer in question was inconveniently lacking in irrational prejudice and seemed too earnest to be true. I looked for hypocrisy and found none. I tried to undermine, Christ knows I did, and the only person whose shallowness I proved was my own. For a time, I was this person’s friend. I wasn’t pressured to embrace their world view or their God. But I might have acknowledged that it worked for them. And that through them, it really, genuinely worked.My refusal to make that acknowledgement proved my loss, and that loss was a considerable one. ~~~~ 17/12/10 17:45 GMTSo Ray, you finally did get around to writing that article. After our first few dates it was never mentioned again. I thought at the time it was initial enthusiasm on the part of someone who wanted to get to know me. It didn’t bother me that you seemed to discard the idea after that. Then later I looked back and realised it had all been part of your fiendish seducer’s plan, cue wicked laughter. Back then, at any rate, the other side of summer.I appreciate your sending me a copy. That means something at least. You know I even bought a copy of The Tribune to check that they’d printed it for real. I’d like to feel sure you meant it all, but when a girl’s fallen victim to as accomplished a liar as you, Ray, she’s wary where she puts her faith.I hope, more for your sake than my own, that you felt what you wrote.Neely. 18/12/10 09:37 GMTDear Neely,Thank you for reading and for acknowledging what I sent you, whatever your doubts over my sincerity. I didn’t expect to hear from you again, nor did I have reason to. The fact that you got in touch at all speaks volumes about the girl I remember. Sending you the article was to be my final attempt at staying in contact—I didn’t want to add stalking to my other crimes.I could rehash all my apologies here in print and no doubt they’d sound as hollow as before. So I’m going to ask something I’ve no right to ask. If it’s a flat ‘no’ I’ll accept that and let it be. Will you meet up with me? Half an hour, cup of coffee in town. Not to ruin your Christmas—I’ve already caused enough ruin, I know. But I want to try and let you know that the summer didn’t mean nothing to me. And that I understand what I did. I want to make what amends I can. Your call.—Ray. ~~~~ Neely loved Lemongrass Organic Café at Christmas. There was peppermint in the white-chocolate smoothies, nutmeg in the eggnog lattes. Shane McGowan’s voice clashed sublimely with Kirsty McCall’s on the stereo in Fairytale of New York and the buzz from the thawing high-street shoppers was as warm as the winter’s day was bitter. It all combined into a festive richness which made Neely frisson anytime the stream of customers saw a lull. She was basking in it, gnawing surreptitiously on a gingerbread cookie, when Leo apprehended her.“Caught you, sweetheart!” bursa escort He grabbed her around the middle and squeezed. “That adds thieving to your list of sins.”“Bugger off, you great clown! There, that adds swearing. Happy?”“Honestly, call yourself a Christian …”“I do.” She shoved the rest of the gingerbread into his mouth. “Bite on that and you’re accessory after the fact.” She smiled when he chomped off the gingerbread man’s head.“God, that’s delicious. This guy tastes nearly as good as Graham.” He grinned through a mouthful of crumbs.“Too much information!” She swatted her co-worker with a handy menu, then added, “So, you two spending Christmas tucked away together?”“Mostly. He says he’ll accompany me chez Jarvis on the Day itself.” He looked a touch rueful.“Wow, it’s ‘meet the parents’ time? How will that work out do you think?”“Mum’ll be okay. She’ll fuss around him to hide her embarrassment, while Dad watches The Great Escape even more intently than usual. It’ll be fine, I’m sure.”Neely gave his arm a sympathetic pat. “It’s courageous of you. I’m proud.”“Thing is …” He dropped his voice. “Look, Graham and I are tying the knot in January. I’ve been keeping it from them. Figured they should at least meet him before I drop that bombshell.”“What?” A few years before, Neely would have not been altogether sure what to do with such a revelation. Now she was scandalised for a different reason. “And you’re only telling me now?”“Do you tell me everything straight away?”Neely flushed with guilt. “Well … no.” She was reticent about sharing anything personal, following the widespread knowledge of her Ray-crush. She hadn’t even referred to the assignation she had planned later that afternoon a few streets away. “It’s true, I don’t.”“I’ll be honest with you, Neely, I didn’t know how—Crap, customer alert.” A blast of chill air was herald to the new influx of shoppers; both of them were needed to absorb it before Leo could complete his thought in the next moment of respite. “I figured you might think marriage was a step too far.”“Leo!” The ascending pitch of Neely’s voice alerted customers and she lowered her volume despite exasperation. “Why would I think that? Why would you think I’d think that? I’ve always been happy for you and Graham. Don’t you know that by now?”Leo appraised her warmly. “You’re some kind of Christian, girl.”“I’m my kind of Christian,” she insisted, still a touch offended. She took her anger out on the coffee-machine filter she was replacing. “And … and Christ’s kind of Christian, I think. I hope. Most of the time.” She flushed at the visual and sensory memories stirred up by her words. “Well I’m not sure, to be honest. But one thing I know—I’ve never asked anyone other than me to live by my beliefs. And I’ve never judged you based on those beliefs. All I want is for you to be happy.” She clacked the new filter into place and rounded on him. “And if I’m not invited to that civil ceremony I’ll slap you around your daft head.”“Hey, of course you’re invited. You’re number one on my list.” He wrapped his arms around her in full public view and whispered, “You and whatever sexy bloke you’re meeting after work.” She broke away and stared at him, flustered and guilty. “Well I assume that’s why you keep checking your watch. I haven’t seen you do that since you were dating He Who Must Not Be Named.”“No,” she protested, “it’s not like that. I’m meeting someone, yes, but not in that way.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth. He’d be furious with her, give her a mildly camp telling-off in front of the entire shop. “Really.”“Shame. Thought you might have had someone to bring home for Christmas. A sign that you were over Ray the Rotter.”“I am over him. Totally.” Did she protest too much? It had been a fantasy of hers to bring Ray back to St Albans bursa escort bayan for Jordan-family introductions, long before Christmas. But that time of year would have been so perfect. “I wouldn’t have anything to do with him again.”Leo stared, trying to discern her meaning. “I wasn’t suggesting you would. Neely, he hasn’t been in touch again, has he? It’s not him you’re …”“Leo …” She felt trapped.Her friend was predictably appalled. “If you’re thinking of meeting him, that’s a bad idea. I remember the state you were in a few months back, and …” His train of thought was momentarily halted, eyes flicking past her. “And in case you needed a reminder, you’ve got a special customer.”Neely followed his stare towards the entrance and her heart felt a light shock. Jasmine had set foot in her former place of work. The ex-work-and-roommate was standing furtively in the doorway, sleek figure bundled up against the sub-zero temperatures in a padded red jacket. It seemed like she was shivering more from nervousness than the cold snap. Not that she and Neely hadn’t spoken since the July meltdown—a phone-call some weeks after had thrashed out some of the business between them—but face-to-face caused a rush of unpleasant memory, for both of them Neely guessed.“Timely appearance, I’d say,” Leo muttered, casually wiping the counter.“I know it is. I asked her to call in.”Neely waited silently as Jasmine approached the counter, hesitancy in the girl’s demeanour and her dark eyes. She pulled back her hood to reveal the delicate features which no doubt had helped enamour Raymond Archer. To Leo, in whose spare room she had spent several weeks before permanent relocation, Jasmine nodded briefly. Then she smiled a rueful greeting to Neely. “Hi.”“Hey there.” A difficult pause spooled out between them. Neely tried to muster a tone that was more than business-like. “Glad you could make it. Get you something?”“Well …” Jasmine looked mournful and terribly out of her depth. “I’m early. If you want I can come back in a bit.”“No, don’t be silly.” Neely took pity on Jasmine in her plight. “You’ll freeze your ass off out there. I’m clocking off in ten minutes, so get yourself a coffee and I’ll join you.”They would have time for a much-needed chat before she set off for her other coffee date. She’s made the right decision. It was salutary to meet the girl with whom her ex had cheated, before she sat face-to-face with him again. Her café-relief arrived at four and she changed into thermal leggings, jeans and sweater to guard against the cold-snap. By five past she was seated with the still-uneasy Jasmine.“Sorry I’m not joining you in a drink,” she said. “Not being anti-social, I’m dashing off to meet someone in a while.” Gosh, if Jasmine had known … “But I really wanted to see you. Find out how you’ve been.” “Oh … You know, okay,” Jasmine shrugged. “Got myself a bar job in Revolution down near the market. But you knew that, right?” Neely had known. Her co-worker had departed Lemongrass in search of another job within days of her great confession. “And I’m still living over in Broadmead with Annette, a girl I work with at the new place.” Gosh, I hope Annette doesn’t bring any boyfriends home, Neely thought, before chiding herself for lack of Christmas charity.“Thinking of maybe taking some classes,” Jasmine was continuing. “I’ve kind of been regretting letting my studies go. Something in design maybe.”“That would be good.” Neely hoped she didn’t sound patronising, but Jaz had always needed more direction in her life.“I’m staying here over the holidays, putting in lots of extra hours at the club,” Jasmine rattled on, as though scared to stop talking. “I was going to go visit family in Thailand, but the weather’s put an end to that plan. All flights grounded at Heathrow.”“I know, I saw the escort bursa news. That’s a shame.”“I suppose I wanted to get away for a while. I mean I’ve no right to say that, because you’re the one who probably needed to get away.” She looked terrified, having stumbled into the subject-area she’d been avoiding, but decided there was nothing to be done but keep going. “Neely, I regret what I did every day. I felt so rubbish about it, you’ve got to believe me.”Neely’s sympathy outweighed the pain of the memories. She reached out instinctively and rested her hand on Jasmine’s. “I do believe you, Jaz. I’ve already said so. Let’s face it—it’s not like you stole an otherwise great guy from me. The thing was doomed, whether or not you’d told me what you did.” Of this she needed to remind herself.“I know.” Jasmine looked like she might cry into her caramel latte. “But I was your friend and I was supposed to be there for you when it all went down. I knew what a state you were in and I couldn’t do anything to help, because I’d gone and made myself part of the problem.”“More by not telling me. The other thing I might have forgiven. You could have provided me with fair warning, but you didn’t. That’s what hurt more than anything.”“I know, I know. I got it all so wrong. I was such a shitty friend.”Neely strengthened her grip on Jasmine’s hand. “Look, I had people to see me through it. I missed you, Jaz, but I had other friends. Good friends, some of them … unexpected. Leo was great. Got me through my working days here. And I’m doing okay now. I’m out of the woods more than I could ever have hoped to be.” And I’m going to stay there. I’m going to stay there. I’m not going to let anything confuse me …Jasmine’s smile showed up tentatively for the first time since she’d come in. “I’m glad you’re okay. Really glad. Hey, hang on a second.” She dug into her bag, retrieving a slim item gift-wrapped in glittery-pink. “It’s your Christmas present. Eh …” She looked uncharacteristically abashed. “It’s something you mentioned when we chatted on the phone, after I’d picked up all my stuff. Actually I think you were maybe being sarcastic, so it kind of seems a bit inappropriate now, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”“Hey …” Neely allowed warmth into her smile and took the parcel. She had a feeling she knew what the present was. “Inappropriate gifts from you to me are a tradition. Why stop that over some stupid guy? Thank you, I’ll look forward to opening it. Look, I’d better make a move or I’ll be late.” I’ve got a stupid guy to see. ”It was good catching up with you, Jaz.” Surprisingly she found she meant it.“It was good to see you too, Neely.” Clearly Jasmine thought her ex-roommate was getting away from her as quickly as possible. Neely paused. Jasmine looked more diminutive than usual in her sadness. The truth in her earlier words occurred to Neely—she had missed her irreverent friend. “Jaz, since you’re around over the holiday, why don’t we meet up for a drink? Once I get back from St Albans.”Jasmine’s face lit with a glow befitting the season. “Neely, I’d love that. You mean it?”“I do. Hey, gotta run. I’ll call you after Christmas, okay?” She gave Jasmine’s hand an additional squeeze before leaving. Sometimes you had to act on your instincts. Neely hoped those same instincts would serve her well later on. She caught a glance of friendly warning from Leo as she departed the café and shivered even before the icy air struck her face.Closure, she told herself, bracing against the cold as she trotted down the gritted High Street. That’s what this is. Didn’t need it before those wretched emails, thought that chapter was closed. I need it to be closed, especially now. Look, stupid, it is closed. I’m reinforcing the point today, that’s all. Wrapping up loose ends.Lord, it felt like the same denial she had dealt in during the summer. But that was the bastard’s power, wasn’t it? Luring you with sincerity before the trap sprang shut. He’d done it once already. His betrayal with Jasmine hadn’t been the worst of his crimes.